Why is red not allowed in funeral?

Why you shouldn't wear red to a funeral. Wearing red to a funeral can be a sign of disrespect. It will give others a completely wrong impression if you wear a bright and bold colour to a funeral, as this goes against the dark, muted colours associated with sadness and mourning.

aklander.co.uk - Funeral etiquette - the dos and don'ts - AK Lander

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Do I need to be invited to a funeral?

A funeral service is generally open to anyone unless the family of the deceased has specifically requested for a private ceremony to be held. The service is an opportunity for family, friends and others to all say their last goodbyes to the person that has passed away.

Other etiquette tips

Offer your condolences

It is important to offer your condolences and if you’re a friend of the deceased you should find close family members and offer your sympathy. Julie Blais Comeau from Etiquette Julie, adds, “Seek close family members to offer your condolences and mention your relationship to the deceased along with anecdotes.” “When you express your condolences either at the service or in a card or message, be mindful of what you say. According to the Grief Recovery Method Institute a few common phrases to avoid include:

Don't feel bad

Time heals

Be strong

Stay busy

“Instead, try something like, ‘I know you are hurting, please let me know how I can support you.’”

Diane Gottsman also offered advice about phrases you could use:

“Saying something like, ‘I am so sorry’ or, ‘I have no words to express my sadness. Steven was a wonderful man and we will all miss him terribly.’ There is no rule for a heartfelt message and the grieving friend or family member will appreciate your support. “You will have to use your best judgment to determine if the grieving friend/family member wants to talk. Their facial expressions and body language will tell you as much as their words. They may not be up to a long conversation but could use a warm hug, or someone to sit with them for a while. They may want to talk about their loved one, or it might be too painful to recount certain memories. Everyone grieves differently.”

Don’t use your phone at the funeral service

Something you should certainly avoid doing at a funeral is using your phone or taking photos at the service. Esther Cardenas Pipoly, says, “You should never take out your phones for any reason, but especially not to scroll social media or take photos. I suggest leaving your phone in the car but, if you must bring it, make sure to keep it in silent mode. If you know that you will be expecting a call, sit towards the back of the room so that you can easily step outside to take care of it.” Diane Gottsman, agrees, “It’s always best to keep your phone in your jacket or purse. Do not take photos of anyone at the funeral service – keeping in mind you are not at a party but at a ceremony that requires your utmost respect.”

You could offer to bring a dessert to the funeral reception

At a post funeral reception it is a good time to spend time together to remember the person who passed away over some food and nibbles. Julie Blais Comeau says for attendees who are close to the family you could prepare a meal or dessert for the post funeral reception and she offers some advice on what you could make. “If readers are close to the family of the deceased, they can offer to prepare a meal or a frozen dessert.”

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