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Why don't I remember my childhood?

The good news is that it's completely normal not to remember much of your early years. It's known as infantile amnesia. This means that even though kids' brains are like little sponges, soaking in all that info and experience, you might take relatively few memories of it into adulthood.

greatist.com - Why Can't I Remember My Childhood? Causes and Solutions

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We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Here’s our process. The thought of not remembering much — or wondering whether you experienced childhood trauma — can be pretty upsetting. So let’s take a look at what causes childhood amnesia and what you can do to make some of those good memories a bit more vivid. It doesn’t mean you’ve got a problem with your memory or that you repressed memories of childhood trauma (although both of these factors can interfere with childhood memories). The good news is that it’s completely normal not to remember much of your early years . It’s known as infantile amnesia. This means that even though kids’ brains are like little sponges, soaking in all that info and experience, you might take relatively few memories of it into adulthood. Many people can recall happy childhood memories: playing with friends during recess, birthday parties, that time you accidentally set fire to your parents’ living room (don’t worry — we’ve all been there). But it’s also pretty common to find that you don’t remember much about being a kid.

So what gives? After all, childhood is when you discover the world and everything in it. You instinctively remember some of those lessons — such as learning that candle flames are painful for your fingers or that it’s not appropriate to just poop on the stairs as you please. Shouldn’t you remember the rest of it too?

First things first: You probably don’t have a problem with your memory, even if you can’t remember your third birthday. The truth is that most people can’t recall that stuff (ask your friends or family — they’ll likely say the same thing). It just comes down to how our brains are formed. They’re squidgy lumps of matter, not computers. Rat brains develop memory in a similar way to human brains. And studies on our little rodent cousins have shown that, like us, they can remember learning experiences from their childhood (like “falling over hurts” and other greatest hits) without remembering other details. It’s just the way our brains work. A lot of different factors (like individual brain development and wider culture) might mean you remember slightly more or less about your childhood than others do. It doesn’t mean you’re broken.

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It’s not always trauma

Many people who worry about a lack of childhood memories fear that, to protect them, their brains have repressed something bad that happened. Fortunately, that’s not always the case. Psychology OG (psychol-OG?) Sigmund Freud was one of the first to suggest a link between childhood trauma and a lack of memories, and researchers have been exploring the possibility ever since. In the 1990s, the theory of repressed memory became so widespread that some therapists made the mistake of confusing anxiety, eating disorders, and other neurological issues for signs of childhood abuse. These docs then suggested to their patients that something awful had happened in their early years and they didn’t remember it. As a result, some people in treatment developed false memories of incidents that had never happened. That’s absolutely not good. But if this is something you’re worried about, remember this: Most people who have experienced childhood trauma, especially in its most serious forms, remember the incidents. Trauma can certainly affect your memory (more on this in a minute). But if you have absolutely zero memory of anything bad happening and nothing else from your life seems suspicious, then you’re probably not repressing memories — it’s prob just regular childhood amnesia. Possible reasons for childhood trauma According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, these are some common causes of childhood trauma: physical, sexual, or physiological abuse

natural disasters and wars

domestic violence

grief

substance use disorder (your own or that of a loved one)

serious accidents and illnesses

military-related stress (like deployment or injury of a parent)

Can trauma or abuse play a role in childhood amnesia?

Research indicates that childhood trauma and abuse can absolutely affect your memory. While you’re unlikely to forget traumatic incidents completely, you may find you have distorted memories of what happened. Many abuse survivors recall incidents in “flashes” — images that aren’t quite coherent, since the brain will often disassociate to protect itself. This can also mess with their perception of time. Survivors might feel as though they’re in limbo. Traumatic memories can obliterate earlier, more positive memories of childhood. And because the traumatic memories are often also fractured, people may be left with very few memories of their childhood. People who have experienced trauma and abuse can find themselves stuck in vicious cycles for years. If this sounds like what you’re experiencing, consider talking with a therapist for support.

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Other explanations

There are some other reasons you might not have a full mental photo album of your childhood. But they prove that your brain is healthy and functioning. Hurrah! The first is that human memory, especially in children, mostly focuses on events that had a big impact. So you probably have vague memories of playing with your friends but nothing specific. You may remember blowing out birthday candles or getting a gift but little else about your fourth birthday. But you’ll clearly remember that day you accidentally set fire to the living room, because your mom chewed your ear off about it. Other people might even remember incidents far more than you do — precisely because of that impact. For example, you might have been present when your sister fell into the swimming pool. The adults will remember it clearly because they had to save a child. Your sister is also pretty likely to have a clear memory of it, for understandable reasons. But you might not have understood the incident, so you don’t remember it so well. Another reason for childhood amnesia is that our brains go synapse-wild when we’re babies. Synapses are the things that allow electrical currents in our brains to move around. It’s estimated that before age 2, our brains produce 40,000 synapses per second. Ah, those were the days. You’d think that would make your memory super awesome, but it’s actually the other way around: Some experts think this can contribute to memory loss. The good news is that when you hit puberty, your brain does a spring cleaning and prunes a lot of unneeded synapses, improving your memory. This means you can totally memorize your crush’s phone number. So yeah, who needs synapses anyway? (OK, definitely still you, but we get that your crush’s phone number is mega important.)

greatist.com - Why Can't I Remember My Childhood? Causes and Solutions

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