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Why do I cry when I'm angry?

Lots of people cry when they feel frustrated, angry, or embarrassed. When you get mad, your body produces a flood of hormones that stimulate strong reactions in your body — everything from a racing heart to sweaty palms to short-term memory loss. In response to the elevated stress level, you may cry.

healthline.com - Crying When Angry: Causes, Physical Effects, How to Stop, More

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Share on Pinterest Westend61/Getty Images You can’t believe what you’re hearing. It’s unfair; it’s untrue. You open your mouth to speak up, your face flushes, your throat constricts… and cue the sting of infuriating tears. Why does this keep happening? Why do you cry when what you’re actually feeling is fury? Here’s what we know about the reasons behind the normal human phenomenon of angry tears, and what you can do to dry them when the timing is all wrong. What causes tears when we’re angry? The most immediate reason for angry tears is probably that you feel hurt, embarrassed, betrayed, or unjustly treated. When people experience injustice, rejection, or humiliation, the natural response includes both anger and sadness — often simultaneously. Tearful crying is a uniquely human activity, and scientists believe it may serve an evolutionary function: a distress signal used to summon help and provoke helping behaviors in others. Crying releases oxytocin and prolactin Researchers have found that crying stimulates the release of oxytocin and prolactin , two chemicals that can bring your heart rate down and otherwise calm you after a stressful event. But crying doesn’t always serve a self-comforting function. If you cried and were comforted, your mood is likely to improve. If, on the other hand, you cried and felt shamed or embarrassed by it, the tears probably won’t have improved your mood. Children and women are more likely to cry than adult men Children are more likely to cry than adults, and females are more likely to cry than males. A 2019 research review indicates that many women cry four or five times per month, whereas men may cry only once or not at all in the same period. And while we cry because of major life events that cause us grief or profound joy, we just as often cry because of ordinary, daily frustrations and conflicts. If women shed more angry tears than men do, it may be because in the United States and many Western cultures, women have often been socialized to display more positive emotions and internalize feelings that some perceive as negative, like anger. What are the other physical effects of anger? When you get mad (even if you don’t cry), here’s what happens in your body: Your amygdala, hypothalamus, and pituitary gland work together to produce a surge of cortisol and adrenaline (stress hormones).

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Your heart rate and blood pressure amp up.

You may feel warm or flushed.

Your mouth may feel dry and your palms may feel damp.

Your field of vision might narrow.

Cortisol may cause your short-term memory to falter (that’s why you keep forgetting what you want to say in a heated conversation). With the burst of nervous system and hormonal activity, is it any wonder that your body produces tears?

Should you control your tears? There are times when it’s counterproductive to cry (driving along a serpentine cliffside road, for example). But it’s also worth noting that crying plays an important role in emotional health. Finding safe and appropriate places to let your feelings — and your tears — flow can be a good thing. You are the best judge of when and where you need to cry, but here’s a list of places many people find solace in releasing their emotions: on a solitary walk

in a therapist’s office

as you’re privately journaling

with close family members and supportive friends

with your pet

in the shower or bath

where you go to meditate, pray, or enjoy nature alone

When to seek help Crying when you’re angry doesn’t mean you’re weak, out of control, or mentally ill. It’s a logical human response to emotional stimuli. If you cry more frequently than you’d like, or if angry tears are interfering with your ability to function normally, it may be a good idea to talk with a therapist about it. Excessive crying may be a sign that you’re depressed or anxious, and there are many effective treatments that can restore a sense of balance to your emotional life.

healthline.com - Crying When Angry: Causes, Physical Effects, How to Stop, More

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