Affluent Savvy
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When should you sleep with a guy?

In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average.

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People are waiting longer than you think. Unsplash/Matthew Hamilton

The INSIDER Summary:

In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average. There are a lot of questions when you first begin dating someone, but one of the biggest is when exactly you should take the plunge and sleep together. Although this will vary with every couple, a new study gives some insight into how long most people wait — and it might be longer than you think. The survey, conducted by Groupon, asked 2,000 adults about dating habits and found that, on average, eights dates was deemed the "acceptable" amount of time to wait before having sex with a new partner. This blasts past the old cliché of waiting three dates before getting intimate. This varied across genders, too. The average person who identified as a man was cool with waiting five dates, but the average person who identified as a woman leaned more towards waiting nine dates. But it's not just sex that people wait for. Most participants told researchers that they wait until the second date before having their first kiss. Only 17% of participants said that if it goes well that they "always" kiss on a first date. But the good news, at least if you're a millennial, is that you may be waiting a little less time to see if there will be a second date. Millenials surveyed said that they followed up within 48 hours to set up a second date, while older participants said that they waited three days on average. Obviously, this survey is far from conclusive — everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to physical intimacy. But this is a good reminder than any good relationship can and should move at a speed you're comfortable with, all you have to do is talk about it.

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Is it OK to say I love you 2 weeks early?

According to 2020 OKCupid data on 6,000 people shared with mindbodygreen, 62% of people think you should say "I love you" "as soon as you feel it," whereas 22% think you should wait "several months," and 3% think you should wait "at least a year." On average, research has found men take about three months to say "I ...

In general, if two people love each other, it doesn't matter who says "I love you" first. If you're not sure whether your partner feels the same way you do, you can still tell them how you feel—just be mindful of why you're doing it. If you just want to let them know where your heart is at and don't mind whether or not your feelings are reciprocated, go for it. "There is so much taboo around what 'I love you' means and who we say it to," Brown-James says. "I suggest taking a bit of time to inventory your feelings. Honoring your feelings of vulnerability is risky and can be scary. It is, however, a way to build intimacy." That said, Manly points out that those three little words can carry a lot of weight for some people, so it's worth considering how your confession might affect them and your relationship. "A person's proclamation of love can bring a 'not-so-ready' person closer, yet it can also scare someone away," she says. If it's important for you to have the other person love you back, Manly recommends paying attention to body language cues as well as the other types of language they use to describe how they feel about you. "Couples often test each other out by paying attention to key phrases such as 'I'm catching feelings for you,' 'I really like you,' or 'I feel so close to you,'" she says. "Notice if these precursors to 'I love you' are in play. If they are, it may be the right time to voice how you feel."

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