Affluent Savvy
Affluent Savvy
Photo: Abdullah Toppınar
“If this is true, then during the twelve years of marriage …and thirteen years of exile… Rama and Sita have no children and Sita becomes a mother in her late thirties.
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Learn More »Nandita Sengupta is a senior editor with The Times of India. Her blog aims to be mainly about all matters women, which includes men on occasion. Share your ideas with her on nandita.sengupta@timesgroup.com and please keep comments and feedback civil. LESS ... MORE Sita has always intrigued me. She’s quite a standalone. She’s the one woman who the janta hasn’t sort of figured out quite. Through the entire Ramayana story, of which I’ve read no ‘original’, all I keep realising is that there’s something about Sita. She eludes specific characterisation, lending herself only to interpretations of which there are a zillion. She’s probably the only character among all our ‘gods’ in whom we see what we want to. It’s our reaction to, our interpretation of Sita’s life that truly sets her value, and our beliefs. Not certain why, but I’ve always been miffed at suggestions of her being a doormat, of being helpless, of her not having a say. There’s something about the viewpoint that don’t seem right. I have my own over-simplistic, interpretations of the major points in the lady’s life. I still flounder at the abandonment, though, when she’s sent off to the forest although she’s pregnant. For starters, her joining Rama on his punishment posting. It’s mostly spoken of as sacrifice. Sita ‘gave up’ her royal lifestyle to go with hubby. But look at the choice the woman had: she could either go with handsome hubby or stay back with three mothers-in-law and a hen-pecked dad-in-law. Not much choice there, if you ask me. Any girl in her right mind would go with hubby, discomfort be damned. And she finally had cool dude bro-in-law Lakshmana tag along as well who respected her no end. What could be better? You always need an assistant for sundry work. Hubbies don’t oblige often, only lip-sync. Then the Lakshmana-rekha. Ooh, the line that was crossed, which led to her kidnapping by a man besotted. Yet, nothing happened. Ravana was scared of the curse that if he dared molest another woman, his tenner would splinter. Capital punishment, no less: quite a deterrent that if it was what kept Ravana away. But surely he knew that when he was plotting? Kidnapping Sita was a rather elaborate plan. He yanked her all the way to his kingdom and then got cold feet worrying about his heads? I find the argument a tad insufficient. What I would like to believe, instead, is that Ravana was ultimately kept away from Sita not by any male-drawn limits or codes, but by Sita herself. There was something about Sita. What it was every woman might want to figure out. It was Sita’s own drawn ‘rekha’ that Ravana didn’t dare cross. Learned he may have been, great ‘love’ — for want of a better word — he may have had, but rakshasa he was and he had kidnapped her for a purpose. Which he didn’t complete. Why? What kept him away? What was that quality in Sita? To me, men can keep drawing lines crisscrossing women’s lives till they do themselves to exhaustion, but when it comes to crunch, women draw their own lines, which no Ravana dare step over.
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Learn More »Rama ended up a miserable wreck, and Sita, when wounded again, simply said enough and went back home into the earth. Still figuring that out. Maybe I’m too Bollywood-conditioned into wanting endless happy endings. More when I’ve cracked it. Meanwhile, for Sita seekers, go find her. And send across some thoughts. Nothing like figuring out what Sita was all about.
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