What Krishna says about self love?

So Krishna tries to arouse his ego only to ask him to surrender it later . And that is the lesson to be learnt. We need to become strong by becoming aware of ourselves. With that awareness comes the confidence to surrender ego and thus step out in love with ourselves and so with rest of the world.

timesofindia.indiatimes.com - Go on, love yourself… - Times of India

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Vinita Dawra Nangia is an Executive Editor with The Times of India. The blog O-zone reflects her incisive insights into life, relationships and contemporary living, offering a fresh, sharper and more evolved look at yourself and the world you dwell in. The blog puts forth practical, feel-good ways of dealing with contemporary chaos and the myriad internal struggles we deal with each day. O-zone runs as a weekly column in The Times of India’s Sunday supplement, Times Life. Vinita is also Festival Director of the Times Literature Festival and Director/Founder of Write India, the world’s largest crowd-sourced story contest. LESS ... MORE

Do we really love anybody else other than ourselves? Is not all loving an extension of our love for ourselves?

From childhood, we are taught to cut down on ego – on an exaggerated sense of self, and to consider others before one’s self. This is true particularly in India, and more especially with girls. Ego, they would have you believe, is the root cause of all evil and till you start considering others before self, you are doomed to disaster. Lord Krishna in Bhagvad Gita says so, you are told – and dare you disagree with that?

And yet, from childhood itself, our most basic instinct is self-preservation . It’s the thought of I, me, myself that directs most of our activities to the extent that the letter “I” is the only form of reference apart from reference to God Himself, that uses a capital letter! Have you noticed how when you are unwell, it becomes so difficult to think beyond your discomfort to the well-being of anybody else?

When you are depressed, you just cannot participate in another’s happiness, even if it’s that of your own child. In U, Me and Hum, Ajay Devgan , who plays a psychiatrist and the husband of an Alzheimer’s patient, very appropriately says, “If a mother and child are drowning, no doubt the mother will do her best to save the child. But then there will come a time when thrashing around for her own breath, driven by the instinct of self-preservation she may use the child’s head to push herself out of the water… ” Sounds horrid. But nevertheless, true. Perhaps it’s an understanding of this instinct that has all airlines exhorting you to first draw on your own oxygen mask in case of an emergency , before helping a child with his. Children , a divorced friend told me sadly, are the most selfish creatures. They adapt easily to any situation. Perhaps selfish was too strong a word, and what he actually was hinting at was the self-preservative instinct that is quite strong with children and with older people.

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I have often wondered about love too. Do we really love anybody else other than ourselves? Is not all loving an extension of our love for ourselves? We love those who love us or are our own by blood or by deed; we cannot understand those who dislike us. When a mother loves her child, she does so because he is an extension of her own flesh and blood. Rest of the relationships are driven more by need than by want. You need all those you love, if for nothing else than to satisfy your emotional cravings. Unrequited love to me is the greatest form of self-love , where one is terribly in love with the idea of being in love and fancies oneself as a martyr. An article in timeswellness.com encourages you to generate your own love. It suggests that perhaps the reason for so many relationships failing is that we haven’t learnt how to love. It’s not possible to love anyone until you have learnt to love yourself. Osho said that before sharing your love with others, you should have it yourself, or you end up sharing your misery rather than love. So, you are encouraged to love yourself. There’s no harm in loving yourself, being aware of yourself. At least not till that loving is reasonable and allows you to be somewhat detached and objective too. A heightened self-esteem can be very good. In fact, it’s proven that if you have a high self-esteem , you are likely to be a happier individual, someone who is more likely to face challenges and also bounce back in the face of adversity. However, too much self-esteem without proper awareness, an understanding of the self and one’s skill sets is likely to become a kind of avoidable self-centredness. There is then the danger of it deteriorating from a worthy quality to an unworthy ego of which we have said, a little bit at the right time is a good thing but not too much of it.

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Sri Sri Ravishankar , in his discourse ‘Gita and its relevance to present day’ , points out that Lord Krishna on the battlefield, initially tries to awaken Arjuna’s ego by implying he should be ashamed to be crying as he is a yodha. So Krishna tries to arouse his ego only to ask him to surrender it later . And that is the lesson to be learnt. We need to become strong by becoming aware of ourselves. With that awareness comes the confidence to surrender ego and thus step out in love with ourselves and so with rest of the world. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Love yourself so that you become capable of loving others. Keep yourself in good health and safe so that you can keep others so too…

Disclaimer Views expressed above are the author's own.

timesofindia.indiatimes.com - Go on, love yourself… - Times of India

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