Photo: Magda Ehlers

What is the 90 10 rule dating?

The 90-10 rule is about making it clear—through words, actions, body language, whatever tools you have—what you want to do, and then letting the other person decide if it's what they want too. If she doesn't "come the other 10," there's no kiss.

glamour.com - One of the Best Definitions of Consent I've Ever Seen Is in 'Hitch' | Glamour

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Go ninety.

Whatever you're doing, just go 90 and let the other person come 10. By which I do not mean stick 90 percent of your penis into someone and then ask if this is what they like. The 90-10 rule is about making it clear—through words, actions, body language, whatever tools you have—what you want to do, and then letting the other person decide if it's what they want too. If she doesn't "come the other 10," there's no kiss. If you ask someone out in a way that demonstrates your enthusiasm and how much thought you've put into the date (doing 90 percent of the work), while also making it clear that the other person has the option to say no (without, say, causing you to break down or hurt them/yourself—two tactics abusers use to get what they want) and she says no, there's no date. It's just a guideline, of course, and nothing replaces verbal communication, but if Will Smith can give Kevin James a pretty workable definition of How to Come On to Someone Without Being a Creep in three and a half minutes, you and your gang can follow it. (I also think it's worth noting that this is a guy-to-guy moment. It shouldn't always—or, ideally, ever—be on women to educate men on how to have, you know, basic humanity. Guys can and should call out their friends when they step over the line and teach them methods for navigating the dating world with manners, dignity, and Not Being a Damn Rapist.)

"You don't go the whole hundred!"

These lessons are crucial to have in romantic comedies, which have long functioned as a lens through which society can see and satirize its dating habits and the current state of play between the sexes. Though there are a ton of resources for people who want to learn about rape culture and consent, the fact is, it's often not until college that many people encounter them (though a lot of people are working to change that). By that time I'd say the average woman has seen upwards of a dozen romantic comedies, and she's probably internalized at least some of their messages. The same way the cereal industry got kids hooked on sugar through ads in Saturday-morning cartoons—get ’em early, hit ’em often—we have to popularize digestible messages of consent. Hitch isn't the only rom com to do this. Legally Blonde, Miss Congeniality, and Clueless, among others, feature scenes in which the female protagonist clearly and explicitly demands control over her own body, and she's not considered shrill or frigid and she's not punished for doing so. (And if, after all those, someone still isn't getting it, show them Thelma and Louise.) Romantic comedies are many people's first lessons in how to comport themselves in a sexualized situation. We should remember the times those movies get it right, and we should take note of the shorthand reminders. You go 90, and wait for the other person to go 10. And if they don't, maybe they're…just not that into you.

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Is 7 hours enough for one night?

In an article with the Seattle Times, incoming AASM president Dr. Nathaniel F. Watson says 7 hours is the lower limit for how much sleep a healthy adult should get per night.

sleepeducation.org - Why you only need 7 hours of sleep - Sleep Education

Having trouble getting that ideal 8 hours of sleep? So is everyone else. But there’s some good news — you may only need 7 hours of it. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) and the Sleep Research Society (SRS) have issued a new recommendation, saying seven is the magic sleep number for most healthy adults. In an article with the Seattle Times, incoming AASM president Dr. Nathaniel F. Watson says 7 hours is the lower limit for how much sleep a healthy adult should get per night. A 15-member panel spent a year reviewing research materials that led the AASM and SRS to this conclusion. “More than a third of the population is not getting enough sleep, so the focus needs to be on achieving the recommended minimum hours of nightly sleep,” Watson said in a press release from the AASM. The study didn’t place a limit on the amount of sleep you should get. People who are recovering from sleep debt or battling sleep illnesses and younger adults probably need closer to 9 hours a night. Part of the problem with how we approach sleep, according to Watson, is our busy lifestyles. The cycle never ends. Work gets us up early in the morning, and on occasion, keeps us up late at night. When it’s not work, it’s family or projects or children. The regular stressors of life are always going to be there. But allotting time in your schedule for at least 7 hours of sleep can keep you more alert during the day. That way you will have the energy to enjoy all the things that are keeping you busy.

Quit fighting your snooze button. Make time for at least 7 hours.

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