What is the 333 strategy for dating?

Called the "3-4 rule," Nobile's method requires that singles learn four key principles about their prospect by the end of the third date. Those tenets are chemistry, core values, emotional maturity, and readiness. According to Nobile, this method allows daters to assess chemistry and long-term compatibility.

insider.com - Elite Dating Coach Says '3-4 Rule' Is the Key to Finding Your Partner

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Amy Nobile is a New York City dating coach who charges $10,000 for four months of services. She says the "3-4 rule," knowing four tenets about someone by the third date, saves time and energy.

The four tenets are chemistry, core values, emotional maturity, and relationship readiness.

Top editors give you the stories you want — delivered right to your inbox each weekday. Loading Something is loading. Thanks for signing up! Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. download the app Email address By clicking ‘Sign up’, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider as well as other partner offers and accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy The New York City dating coach Amy Nobile, who charges $10,000 to work with her, said she created a foolproof method for weeding out incompatible matches. Called the "3-4 rule," Nobile's method requires that singles learn four key principles about their prospect by the end of the third date. Those tenets are chemistry, core values, emotional maturity, and readiness. According to Nobile, this method allows daters to assess chemistry and long-term compatibility. Often, singles focus on chemistry only and learn months or years into a relationship they aren't well matched, she said. "And then it's six months later or six years later, and the other person pops their head up and says, 'I don't want kids in two years,'" Nobile told Insider.

The 4 tenets of a relationship that are nonnegotiable

According to Nobile, her four principles allow singles to take a more holistic look at romantic relationships. The first tenet, chemistry, means you feel some sort of connection, whether physical or intellectual. Nobile said chemistry could often feel like the "just a knowing that there's some sort of connection." The second tenet of core values is different for each single. According to Nobile, these categories could include family planning, career goals, personal goals, religion, or any other lifestyle choices and plans that could involve a partner. It's also important to know a date's emotional availability and maturity. A person who can articulate their feelings about themself and their relationships consistently embodies this trait, Nobile said.

Last, it's important a prospect is ready for a relationship.

If a date doesn't check each of these four boxes, it's a sign they aren't your person, Nobile said.

Dates 1 and 2: Discuss career and relationships

When Nobile explains the 3-4 rule to new clients, they often freeze in fear over how to elicit personal information in just three dates.

Asking specific questions on each date can help, according to Nobile.

She suggested using your first and second dates to learn about a prospect's career and passions, what they've learned about themselves over the past year, the relationship they're looking for, and their relationship history. It's also a good time to ask about their family and long-term goals, Nobile said.

Date 3: Time to talk family and deal breakers

By the third date, you can get into more specifics about relationship deal breakers, family planning, marriage, and communication styles.

Though it can be nerve-racking, self-love and practice help, Nobile said.

When Nobile started working with an introverted woman in her mid-30s, it took her 10 first dates to muster up the courage to ask about a date's previous relationships. "She just found her guy recently," Nobile said. "She asked him all the questions, and she was like, 'I can't believe it. I just didn't own my worth. I was scared of the response.' So yeah, it's amazing."

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What is the 7 date rule?

The rule suggests the younger person in a relationship should be older than half the older person's age plus seven years in order for the relationship to be socially acceptable. For example, the youngest a 26-year-old person should date is 20. The beginnings of the rule are murky.

statesman.com - Turns out, most Texans actually follow the 'half-your-age-plus-seven ...

Olivia Krauth

You know that pop culture-driven, potentially made-up standard rule for determining how young you can date?

Turns out, Texans actually follow it.

Out of the nearly 2 million Texas marriage licenses filed from 2004 to 2014, only 588 marriages didn’t abide by the half-your-age-plus-seven rule. The rule suggests the younger person in a relationship should be older than half the older person’s age plus seven years in order for the relationship to be socially acceptable. For example, the youngest a 26-year-old person should date is 20. The beginnings of the rule are murky. Wikipedia’s brief section on the rule cites French author Max O’Rell’s 1901 work “Her Royal Highness Woman” as the first written mention of the rule, but that’s Wikipedia. I first heard about it from Andy Dwyer - Chris Pratt’s character on “Parks and Recreation” - when he was determining whether April Ludgate was in his age range. We checked - Pratt and Anna Faris met the rule. While the number of marriage licenses grew over 10 years, the number of rule-breaking marriages stayed stable. 2014 saw a sharp drop in rule-breakers, going from .03 percent of all marriages in 2013 to the even smaller amount of .002 percent in 2014. Marriages where the husband was older were definitely more likely to break the rule throughout the decade. Out of the 588 marriages, 534 of them were situations where the husband was older. Wives were older in only 54 of the cases.

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