Affluent Savvy
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What do you say to a rude boss?

Let your boss know that you do not appreciate his rude comments or remarks. Example: When you make jokes about me being slow or stupid, I feel devalued despite my hard work. I take my job seriously, and if I am not meeting your expectations, please let me know how I can improve.

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It's bad enough to have to work with rude co-workers, but when your boss is rude, it can affect your mood and your willingness to come to work every day. It also can change the way that you interact with others. Being mistreated by the boss stays with you when you go home, where it can be unleashed on unsuspecting family members. To avoid these additional problems, you need to learn how to communicate with a rude boss and leave the stress at work.

Confront the Rude Behavior

Rude behavior is a form of selfishness and disrespect for other people, and is characterized by demeaning remarks, offensive comments and interrupting. When you don't stand up for yourself against this consistent behavior, you are silently giving him permission to continue. If you don't stand up for yourself, he will continue. Remember, it's your responsibility to set the tone of how you want to be treated -- and this applies in the workplace as well as everywhere else in your world. Let your boss know that you do not appreciate his rude comments or remarks.

Example:

When you make jokes about me being slow or stupid, I feel devalued despite my hard work. I take my job seriously, and if I am not meeting your expectations, please let me know how I can improve.

Try a Humorous Approach

Try approaching your communications with your boss with humor. Humor helps to cut through rudeness; you can use it as a way to let him know you don't appreciate what he says. This kind of communicative volleying can send a message without direct confrontation. His reaction to your humor will tell you a lot about him. If he receives your message, he'll quit being rude. Have a smile on your face and push back against his rudeness when communicating with him.

Example:

If I had known it would be this tough working with you today, I would have worn my protective armor.

Communicate Your Concerns by Email

Consider using email communication instead of speaking with him. He might be less likely to be rude in email, because email provides a written record, which you can use as evidence of his behavior if it gets to the point where you need to speak with the human resources department. When communicating by email, don't be snarky, and avoid cryptic comments. Keep to the facts; be concise, clear and to the point. Do not provide any ammunition he can use against you.

Example:

I felt discounted this morning when you repeatedly interrupted me during staff meeting. Often, the interruptions were off topic. I think our team would function better if everyone is treated respectfully, and we focus on the task at hand. Respectfully, Tanesha

Express Your Concerns in Person

Rude bosses are also typically quick to anger, so it is important that you stay calm and keep your emotions in check. When you decide that you must let him know how offensive you find his behavior, speak with him privately. Keep your tone neutral and speak professionally. Be direct and face him squarely when articulating your frustrations.

Example:

When you ridicule my opinions, I consider it disrespectful and rude, especially when you talk like that in front of others in the office. Please speak to me directly and privately if you have a problem with my ideas or work performance. I deserve the same respect that I show you.

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