Photo: Ivan Samkov

What did Bilbo say on his 111th birthday?

Hobbit: "Happy birthday!" Bilbo: "Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits." [cheers abound.] "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

tk421.net - Bilbo's Farewell - Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

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Promotion

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

[Under the party tree, the other Hobbits are gathered.]

Hobbits: "Speech, Bilbo! Speech!"

Frodo: "Speech!"

Bilbo: "My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots." [cheers]

Old Proudfoot Hobbit: "Proudfeet!"

[Hobbits laugh. Bilbo waves dismissively.]

Bilbo: "Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday!"

Hobbits: "Happy birthday!"

Hobbit: "Happy birthday!"

Bilbo: "Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits." [cheers abound.] "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." [There is a dead silence from the crowd. They gaze at each other blank-faced, trying to figure out if they were just insulted. Gandalf smiles.] Bilbo: "I, uh, I h-have things to do." [fidgets with the Ring behind his back. Whispers to himself] "I've put this off for far too long." Bilbo: [to the crowd] "I regret to announce — this is The End. I am going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell." [whispers to Frodo] "Goodbye."

[Bilbo puts the Ring on and vanishes.]

Hobbits: "Ooh!"

[We follow the sound of footsteps as their invisible owner heads for home. At Bag End, the front door opens and then shuts again, as if by magic. Inside the hall, Bilbo re-appears.] Bilbo: "Hahahahaha!" [flips the ring, catches it and puts it in his pocket] Gandalf (appearing in the parlour): "I suppose you think that was terribly clever."

Bilbo: "Come on Gandalf! Did you see their faces?"

Gandalf: "There are many magic rings in this world, Bilbo Baggins, and none of them should be used lightly." Bilbo: "It was just a bit of fun! Oh you're probably right, as usual. You will keep an eye on Frodo, won't you?"

Gandalf: "Two eyes — as often as I can spare them."

Bilbo: "I'm leaving everything to him."

[He starts to pack various items into his travel pack.]

Gandalf: "What about this ring of yours, is that staying too?"

Bilbo: "Yes, yes. It's in an envelope over there on the mantelpiece."

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Promotion

Bilbo: "No, wait, it's — here in my pocket."

Bilbo: "Heh, isn't that, isn't that odd though? Yet, after all why not? Why shouldn't I keep it?" Gandalf: "I think you should leave the ring behind, Bilbo. Is that so hard?"

Bilbo: "Well no… and yes!"

Bilbo: "Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it, its mine, I found it, it came to me!"

Gandalf: "There's no need to get angry."

Bilbo: "Well, if I'm angry, it's your fault!" [caresses the ring] "It's mine! My own, my precious."

Gandalf: "Precious? Its been called that before, but not by you."

Bilbo: "Argh! What business is it of yours what I do with my own things!"

Gandalf: "I think you've had that Ring quite long enough."

Bilbo (puts up his fists): "You — want it for yourself!"

Gandalf: "Bilbo Baggins!"

[The very air seems to shake as Gandalf draws himself up to full height. His voice thunders throughout Bag End.] Gandalf: "Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks. I am not trying to rob you. I'm trying to help you."

[Bilbo starts weeping. He stumbles towards Gandalf, who embraces him gently.]

Gandalf: "All your long years we've been friends. Trust me as you once did, hmm? Let it go." Bilbo: "You're right Gandalf, the Ring must go to Frodo. It's late, the road is long." [Bilbo collects up his travel packs and assorted cooking utensils and hoicks them onto his back. He takes up a walking stick and prepares to go out the front door.]

Bilbo: "Yes, it is time."

[Bilbo opens the door.]

Gandalf: "Bilbo…"

Bilbo: "Hmm?"

Gandalf: "The Ring is still in your pocket."

Bilbo (sheepish): "Oh, yes…"

[Bilbo pulls out the Ring from his pocket. He stares at it on his palm, then slowly allows it to slip off his palm. It lands on the floor with a heavy thud.] [Bilbo runs out the door, goes a few paces, then stops and lifts his head. He looks relieved. An owl hoots.] Bilbo: "I've thought up an ending for my book." [turns to Gandalf at the door] "'And he lived happily ever after, to the end of his days.'"

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Promotion

Gandalf: "And I'm sure you will my dear friend."

Bilbo: "Good bye, Gandalf."

Gandalf: "Good bye, dear Bilbo."

[Their hands clasp. Bilbo goes out by the gate, and starts down the road, singing.] Bilbo: "The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began…"

Gandalf: "Until our next meeting."

[Gandalf re-enters Bag End. His hand hovers over the Ring, about to pick it up, but stops short when the Eye of Sauron flashes in his mind.]

[Gandalf rises and sits himself by the fireplace.]

Voice of Bilbo: "Its mine, my own, my precious!"

Gandalf: "Riddles in the Dark."

[The smoke from Gandalf's pipe drifts up, obscuring his face. Frodo is heard entering Bag End.]

Frodo: "Bilbo! Bilbo!"

[Frodo opens the door and sees the Ring on the floor. He stoops to pick it up.]

Gandalf: "My precious."

[Frodo notices Gandalf smoking by the fireplace, approaches him.]

Gandalf: "Precious…"

Frodo: "He's gone hasn't he? He talked for so long about leaving. I didn't think he'd really do it."

Frodo: "Gandalf?"

Gandalf: "Hmm?" [smiles at Frodo, noticing the Ring in Frodo's hand.] "Bilbo's ring. He's gone to stay with the Elves. He's left you Bag End…" [He holds envelope open, Frodo slips in the Ring, and Gandalf seals the envelope.] Gandalf: "…along with all his possessions. The ring is yours now. Put it somewhere out of sight."

[Gandalf gets up to leave, collecting his hat and staff.]

Frodo: "Where are you going?"

Gandalf: "There are some things that I must see to."

Frodo: "What things?"

Gandalf: "Questions. Questions that need answering."

Frodo: "But you've only just arrived! I don't understand."

[Gandalf stops his hurried exit and looks back at Frodo.]

Gandalf: "Neither do I."

Gandalf: "Keep it secret. Keep it safe."

[Gandalf leaves Bag End. Frodo looks at the envelope in his hand.]

tk421.net - Bilbo's Farewell - Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

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