Affluent Savvy
Affluent Savvy
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The average therapists' responses defined the ranges of intercourse activity times: "adequate," from three to seven minutes; "desirable," from seven to 13 minutes; "too short" from one to two minutes; and "too long" from 10 to 30 minutes.
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Learn More »Erie, Pa. -- Satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from three to 13 minutes, contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of sexual activity, according to a survey of U.S. and Canadian sex therapists. Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani conducted a survey of 50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades. Thirty-four, or 68 percent, of the group responded and rated a range of time amounts for sexual intercourse, from penetration of the vagina by the penis until ejaculation, that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long. The average therapists’ responses defined the ranges of intercourse activity times: "adequate," from three to seven minutes; "desirable," from seven to 13 minutes; "too short" from one to two minutes; and "too long" from 10 to 30 minutes. "A man's or woman's interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as the partner's relies on personal beliefs developed in part from society's messages, formal and informal," the researchers said. "Unfortunately, today's popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse. " Past research has found that a large percentage of men and women who responded wanted sex to last 30 minutes or longer. "This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction," said lead author Eric Corty, associate professor of psychology. "With this survey, we hope to dispel such fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data about acceptable sexual intercourse, thus preventing sexual disappointments and dysfunctions." Corty and Guardiani, then an undergraduate student and now a University graduate, are publishing their findings in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, but the article is currently available online. The survey’s research also has implications for treatment of people with existing sexual problems. "If a patient is concerned about how long intercourse should last, these data can help shift the patient away from a concern about physical disorders and to be initially treated with counseling, instead of medicine," Corty noted.
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Learn More »Object-of-desire affirmation The study found women are particularly inclined to be turned on when they feel they're being viewed as attractive and desirable by another person—and this actually emerged as being the most significant factor of the three in determining female desire.
This term refers to the ability to appreciate your partner as separate and different from yourself. When you have a sense of personal autonomy in your relationship—as opposed to a feeling of "fusion" or total unity—you're able to see your partner as something exciting and attractive because they're something you still don't fully understand or have. A 2010 study2 by psychologists Dr. Karen Sims and Dr. Marta Meana suggested this distance between two people can trigger sexual desire. "The link between separateness and the construct of desire is evident in theoretical views that describe desire as a wish for something one does not have, or for something that is currently unattainable," Prekatsounaki and her team write. "In this line of thinking, separateness is beneficial to sexual desire; desire can be sharpened by withdrawal or abstinence and be stimulated by fantasy, hope, and promise. Related prerequisites for desire are identified by [psychotherapist Esther] Perel. In her view, desire thrives in 'otherness,' defined as the space between the self and the other that allows for the unknown, novel and unexpected, for surprise and risk." Importantly, the researchers view this specific kind of otherness as separate from the kind involved in unrequited love or other potentially alienating scenarios. "We use this term to refer to couple interactions where otherness between partners is explicitly maintained; not only recognized and accepted but also positively valued, cultivated, and built upon," they explain. "We conceptualize celebrated otherness as relationship experiences that emphasize, at the same time, partners' autonomy and investment in each other. As such, celebrated otherness is an antithesis to fusion, but not to intimacy."
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