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How do I give myself a positive affirmation?

Quick Read What you tell yourself matters Repeatedly saying these phrases builds new neural pathways in your brain, which strengthens positive thought patterns. Choose phrases that are meaningful to you, say them daily and take actions based on your affirmations.

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If you were going to categorize all the thoughts you have about yourself in a day as either compassionate or critical, which category would be bigger?

Most of us have a constant stream of thoughts running in the back of our minds from sunup to sundown — and this inner voice has plenty to say about how we look, act, think and feel. “A lot of the time the things we say to ourselves aren’t really conscious, and a lot of our self-talk is critical,” says Tabitha Kirkland, an associate teaching professor in the University of Washington Department of Psychology. Self-talk can be positive or negative, but it’s all too easy to slip into those negative thought patterns. This is because our thought patterns are learned. What we think on a regular basis changes our brain structure, making it easier to unconsciously repeat the same thoughts and ideas. In other words, the more you tell yourself you aren’t good enough, the easier it is to think and believe it. But this also means you have the power to change your brain function and train your self-talk to be more compassionate.

One way to do just that? Positive affirmations.

What are positive affirmations?

“Positive affirmations are a form of self-talk where you consciously stop to notice, appreciate and give credit to yourself,” Kirkland says. “It’s a way of affirming for yourself who you are and who you want to be or where you want to get in the future.” Traditionally, positive affirmations are thought of as phrases you repeat to yourself to cultivate a more positive self-view. Things like, “I am worthy of love,” “I am grateful for my body” and “I have the ability to achieve my dreams” are all positive affirmations. But practicing positive affirmations doesn’t mean you have to repeat the same statement three times at 7:00 a.m. on the dot each morning (though if that’s your jam, we’re all for it). Practicing positive affirmations can also look like finding ways to affirm yourself throughout your day. This might mean pausing to tell yourself you are a talented and valuable co-worker when you notice self-doubt creeping in at work or saying to yourself, “I am beautiful” when you catch your own eye in the mirror.

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How do positive affirmations work?

If the idea that you can change the way you think about yourself by repeating some positive phrases feels a little far-fetched, we get it. But over time what you tell yourself does have the ability shape how you think and feel. To understand how, it helps to first know some of the science behind how we think. The human brain is made of billions of neurons, which are cells that send messages between the different brain regions. When you think, neurons fire electrical impulses along pathways in your brain, which makes those neurons more sensitive and strengthens the pathways. In contrast, the brain will eventually trim the connections between neurons when those pathways aren’t used. So, when you repeatedly think something, you are strengthening that pathway in your brain, making it easier to fall into that thought in the future. “On a biological level, the familiar roads you travel tend to be the ones you will travel in the future,” Kirkland says. Positive affirmations help you to disrupt this process and take a different road. Instead of falling into the groove of the old pathway, you intentionally tell yourself a new thought so that you build a new route in your brain. Over time, this reinforces the pathway and makes it easier to have positive thought patterns.

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